“I remember when I was so lost in life & believed that God didn’t want anything to do with me, because I kept failing Him. I believed the lies that God didn’t love me because I wasn’t “Christian enough” or my past kept me from having a solid relationship with God. I was ashamed & fed myself those lies as I let them manifest in my heart & mind. I actually started to believe that I wasn’t good enough to experience God’s love. I believed that God stopped listening to me because well I didn’t think He was answering my prayers “according to my timing”. I couldn’t hear His voice. I felt like this dry season of my life wouldn’t ever end. But it did. I continued to seek God even though I couldn’t hear nor feel Him. It was in that dry season, I learned to continue seeking after Him. I learned that the lies I believed were nothing but the enemy & my own insecurities. I allowed myself to throw a pity party. I beat myself up rather than speak life.
But believe it or not, God wanted me. Broken, beaten, weary, tired, hurting. He wanted all of me, not just when my life was going well. He wanted me to know I matter. He loved me. He wouldn’t fail me. He believed in me. He wanted to strengthen me. To give me courage. To feed my soul with things this earth couldn’t even come close to offer. He wanted give me rest. To comfort me. He wanted me to know I wasn’t alone. That He would always be there for me. He wanted me. Every piece of me. Broken and all. He wanted me because I mattered that much to Him.”